Unchanged (Everything Changes)
by Kalira69
Summary: Mai knows she shouldn't be here, but even for her there are some things that override propriety. (Or: Mai goes to visit Zuko after the mockery of an Agni Kai where he faced the Fire Lord.)


Mai drifted quietly through the doors into the healing house, the screaming of an injured child across the room drawing keeping the attention of anyone who might have noticed her. She proceeded quickly around the corner, deeper into the building.

Once she was into the healing house proper she shifted her manner, straightening her spine and narrowing her eyes as she strode through the corridors. It wasn't the most delicate or ladylike sort of poise, but what it _did_ say was that she belonged here.

No one stopped her, or even questioned her, and Mai found her way without too much difficulty.

When she located the correct doorway she found herself finally hesitating before it. She had to steel herself to continue inside, suppressing a faint tremble before she could take so much as another step. After that she didn't let herself stop again until she reached the bedside, her throat tightening.

Zuko looked thin and delicate, asleep - possibly kept that way with drugs, although he might just be hurt so badly that-

Mai's throat locked against a surge of nausea and she squeezed her eyes shut, remembering the horrifying scene. Mai had seen Zuko before the Agni Kai and he had been so sure of himself, so determined, but as soon as he had seen his father. . .

Mai knew it was respect as much as it had been fear that had made Zuko give way and plead forgiveness, because Zuko _did_ fear his father.

She had expected something awful but not-

She swallowed. Not what Ozai had done. _None_ of it. Zuko had spoken out of turn, and a part of Mai had difficulty believing it - raised her whole life to be quiet and unobtrusive, the perfect model of a noble daughter; Zuko's by turns shy and brash nature had always fascinated her at the same time it made her wary - but to be banished? To be removed as heir? To be-

 _What happened doesn't change anything._ she thought, looking at the now-disgraced prince lying helpless before her, her heart clenching painfully.

Mai's jaw tightened and she lifted her head a fraction more, focusing on the pressure behind her eyes that threatened tears, holding them back. She wasn't so foolish. This-

Mai stepped forwards, trailing her fingers over Zuko's forearm to his hand, her eyes on his face. Much of it was hidden behind a thick bandage, and what wasn't had gone an ashy, sallow colour.

Mai had been too far away to see clearly what had happened - thankfully, a part of her whispered - but she had seen the flare of flames beneath the Fire Lord's hand, seen Zuko stiffen and thrash, heard him _scream_. . .

The tears Mai refused to let fall welled up again and she struggled to hold them back. It would have been horrifying no matter who had been laid out there on the stone floor, but for it to be _Zuko_ , sweet, awkward, honourable Zuko. . . Mai's heart had wrenched and ached as though she were bleeding out inside.

They all feared the Fire Lord - even Azula, though the fierce princess would never admit such a thing - but Mai would never have thought he would do this, _so harsh_ , to his own child. His heir - or had been. Even if Ozai called him a disappointment, he was still the Crown Prince. Still Ozai's _child_. A child who had only spoken out of turn, and who had begged forgiveness despite the strength of his own convictions rather than stand against his father.

 _You're too brave_ , Mai thought, swallowing thickly and remembering Zuko telling her why he had argued in the war meeting, what had led to the Agni Kai. _When it's for someone else._ Zuko who wouldn't defend himself against his sister and who shied away from Mai, blushing and awkward, couldn't hold his tongue in a room full of hidebound old generals and- and his _father_.

Mai wrapped both of her hands around one of Zuko's and sat carefully on the edge of the bed beside him. He didn't react, but Mai hadn't expected him to. She would be surprised if he woke at all, right now.

She swallowed. _This changes everything_ , she thought, gently stroking Zuko's knuckles, fingertips trailing over tiny pale starburst scars left from countless hours spent working hard to master his fire. _I may never even see you again._

Mai closed her eyes for a moment against the ache in her chest, drawing a deep breath.

"Lady Mai."

It was only a lifetime of practise at remaining reactionless that Mai didn't stiffen or jump. She opened her eyes and tilted her head warily towards the door, otherwise unmoving. It was far too late to conceal either her presence or the way she had twined her hands around Zuko's. She bowed her head slightly as General Iroh came in, quietly closing the door behind him.

"It is a surprise to see someone else here," Iroh said, and Mai swallowed, "but not an unpleasant one. I am glad to see," he smiled wanly, "someone else who cares for my nephew."

Mai's stomach knotted. She hadn't been able to look away from Zuko screaming under his father's burning hand, nor from his limp figure on the ground when Ozai moved away, but after. . .

The reek of burning flesh still in her nose as she left the Agni Kai chamber, Mai had been struggling to control her nausea, though she had already regained her blank face. That was when she had seen Azula. The expression Azula was wearing had made Mai feel cold and she'd felt a flash of impulse to put one of her knives through Azula's smirking, _gleeful_ face.

"I do." she admitted quietly, meeting General Iroh's gaze flatly. She took a shallow breath, then rose. "I should go." She bowed her head, looking back at Zuko even as she reluctantly released his hand, with a final gentle stroke of one fingertip.

"Please, do not go on my account." Iroh said, and Mai lifted her chin, looking at him again. She shook her head, and Iroh sighed, lips pressed together. He nodded.

Mai reached forwards hesitantly, biting harshly at the inside of her cheek as she delicately pushed back a lock of Zuko's hair, avoiding the bulky bandage. Her eyes burned but Mai _refused_ to give way.

"I'll be waiting for you to come back." Mai said evenly, voice soft, though there was no way Zuko, still asleep, would hear her. She held her head high as she stepped away from the bed, waiting for a comment from Zuko's uncle, but he only smiled at her, his eyes oddly warm.

"I am glad you came to visit him, Lady Mai." Iroh said softly as she passed by him.

Mai paused by the door. "I didn't." she said over her shoulder, not looking back. As far as anyone would know, Mai had not been at the Agni Kai, had not seen Zuko, and knew nothing yet of what had gone on save for what the noble families had been told.

* * *

I actually wanted to write some Zuko/Mai fluff when I began this.

. . .yeah it . . . didn't go there.

It built off the line "What happened doesn't change anything." (from a prompt list I reblogged; when I glanced over it that line jumped out at me for Mai) and then the instant 'yes it does, it changes _everything_ ' because Mai is a very practical and realistic person.

Now I need to see if I can _actually_ write something fluffier, or at least less painful, for them. . .


End file.
